The Descent

I'm 28 years old. I had three children right in a row. I had my oldest Dizzy at 24, Bee at 25 and Beffy at 26.

Right before I got pregnant I had just lost 80 lbs. It was honestly the first time in my life I had pride in the way I looked. I wasn't super thin but I looked good. I had a hairstyle I liked, I could afford to buy the products I wanted to make my hair, skin and face look better. I could choose not to eat anything but plain chicken breasts for a week and use my food money to buy hot new panties or jeans.

It was the best time in my life. I had made it to 23 as a virgin and was thinking about possibly at least getting past kissing. I felt like I could get a guy to look at me. I did. I met my husband we dated intensely and 5 months later I was pregant. He was in the Navy and about to ship out for a 3 month patrol so we threw together a wedding and got married. He left 2 days later.

I spent the first 3 months of my pregnancy commuting from Bremerton to Downtown Seattle daily to work. This includes a 20 minute bus trip on the Bremerton side, an hour long ferry trip and a 30 minute bus ride on the Seattle side. Each way. I started gaining weight quicker than I should have due to the ridiculous hours and my enormous appetite.

By the time my husband was back I had already gained 25 lbs. I put on weight quickly. My doctors took me off of the antidepressant I had been on for years and the weight piled on even faster. I'm an emotional eater. When I'm depressed I eat.

A lot.

It makes me feel better. I think by the time I had my daughter I had gained 60 lbs.

My husband left for another patrol a week after I gave birth. In about a month after he left I had taken off about 40 of those pregnancy pounds. I looked squishy but better. That didn't last long.